#5. 56 and a First-Time Mother
While Ann Ford was progressing through her teenage years, she had one goal – and that was to be like the fictional 1960s character, Gidget.
This movie series featured a teenage girl who traveled the world. From Hawaii to London, she saw it all and that is what Ann wanted, to travel.
Luckily, with both of Ann’s former careers as a meeting planner for a bank and being the vice president of her own meeting company, she achieved that dream.
With now a change in her career – Ann transitioned her focus from traveling the world to educating and giving back to others.
“I’ve been so fortunate in my life so I knew that at some point I wanted to give back,” she expressed.
She began thinking about becoming a foster parent, since a friend of hers has been fostering children for years now. Then one day, about three years ago, she came across a post on Facebook talking about a foreign exchange student in the area who needed a new host home.
“I saw this and went oh my god, this is it. This is what I’m meant to do,” she said excitedly.
Ann then started going through the process of becoming a host parent through AFS-USA which is a placement agency for Kenny-Lugar Youth Exchange and Study programs (YES) – which included home interviews, background checks and of course, paperwork.
The YES programs were founded shortly after the tragic events that happened on September 11th, 2001 in the United States. They provide scholarships for students ages 15 to 17 from countries with significant Muslim populations. These scholarship students spend an entire academic year in the U.S. This program’s main concern is education. Students are here to educate U.S. citizens about their culture, and to then go back home and educate their country about American culture. After the long process of applying, AFS sent letters from potential students in order to see who would be the right fit for her home. That lucky student was 16-year-old Thereza, a Tanzania native. A beautiful young woman with aspirations of becoming a doctor.
Before her arrival, Ann and Thereza would email back and forth to briefly get to know each other and talk about the upcoming school year.
As part of the program, there is a gifting process. So as Ann prepared for the arrival of her new daughter, she bought a few things such as an Indian Hills High School T-shirt (where she would attend), a journal to keep track of her upcoming year and a bag that said New Jersey on it. The gifting process is a tool that helps the scholarship students feel welcomed.
On August 12th, 2016 – Thereza arrived at Ann’s Oakland home and they both were beyond thrilled. Thereza also brought her new American mother a traditional African outfit, as her part of the gifting process.
Ann now found herself as 56 and a first-time mother – and the upcoming 10 months were full of excitement and a learning experience for both of them.
“When Thereza came to stay with me, it felt really natural really fast,” Ann expressed.
She admits that this was the perfect time in her life to become a host parent because she was stable and has already experienced life.
“I had to have my own life experiences before I could teach someone else,” Ann explained, “If I were any younger I’d still be growing myself.”
Since there were so many cultural differences, Ann spent a lot of time teaching Thereza about everyday American life – but Thereza did a lot of teaching as well.
In the midst of learning about the changing seasons, new phrases and experiencing snow for the first time, Thereza was giving presentations at various schools across the state about her culture.
Even though she came to the U.S. for school, the YES program promotes how families and friendships are just as beneficial as a decent education.
“They want you to set yourself up for success but, still want you to experience the culture,” said Ann.
Being with each other every day and experiencing new things together, like Ann’s first Mother’s Day and Thereza’s first time trying a pickle, truly made the two family. So much that Thereza calls Ann, mom.
Though the pair wanted her to stay – this past June, Thereza returned to Tanzania to finish her journey by educating her people about American culture.
“Mom is just a title and this experience is not about the titles,” Ann expressed, “What I’m doing is mothering and I made her part of my family.”
Since Thereza has been home, they’ve had limited contact through email. However, Ann is planning a trip to Tanzania for this upcoming Christmas. She will now be able to see Thereza’s home – a place she’s heard so much about. Ann also works as a liaison for AFS – conducting interviews for potential host families.
"I feel like much more of the winner in this scenario than I do the giver. It taught me so much," Ann said.
This new mother experience has been so joyous and fulfilling for her that she has decided to be a host parent for this upcoming school year as well. This time for a 16-year-old girl from Suriname. Ann's journey as a mother continues.
